A Field Guide to Wild Deployments
In the vast savanna of production infrastructure, deployments roam in herds. The most common species is the Friday Deploy (Deplorius recklessus), easily identified by its distinctive cry of 'it's just a one-line change.' It is almost always followed by the Hotfix (Patchicus desperatus), a smaller, more frantic creature that appears approximately forty-five minutes later. The rarest sighting is the Smooth Deploy (Deplorius mythicus), which some engineers claim to have seen but for which no photographic evidence exists. If you encounter one in the wild, do not make sudden movements. Do not check your monitoring dashboards. Simply close your laptop and walk away. It will be there on Monday. Probably.